This is a love letter of sorts. To all of the people who had to figure it out on their own, who didn’t have anybody pushing them to work harder, who had to be their own support system. Let me be that person for you. Let me be the one to tell you it’s time. It’s time to take responsibility, to make positive and productive changes, to get your shit together.
I grew up in an incredibly loving (and somewhat spoiled) home. Regardless, for how caring and loving my parents were, looking back, I didn’t have any person who questioned my decisions. There was no one there to bring myself to my own attention. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am one hundred percent responsible for myself, the things I do, and the way that I do them, BUT with a caveat. It is up to our guardians to push us, to help us along, while teaching us the important things in life. Now, this only applies if you are under the age of 18. After that, it’s on you.
So, for any of you who don’t know how to move forward, who want to be better, but have no idea what to do next, I offer the most important things I have learned this past year:
- Stop spending your fucking money. This is hard to swallow. We are brainwashed as a culture to buy the best and newest with money we really don’t even have. When you have to use a credit card, YOU DON’T HAVE THE MONEY. When you have to take out a loan, YOU DON’T HAVE THE MONEY. When you have to finance something, YOU DON’T HAVE THE FUCKING MONEY. Let’s stop spending money we don’t have on things we don’t need. You are most likely reading this using wifi or a cell data plan, on a technological device that somebody bought. We are more fortunate than most, but take that to insane extremes when we need to consume consume consume. If you want something, work hard and save the money. Which, brings me to my next point –
- WORK HARDER. Work more hours, get a second job, start selling things on Ebay, Etsy, whatever. Just do something else. This is imperative. So many people want a bigger and better life for themselves, but are too lazy to make big changes. Creating a new source of income will allow for new sense of financial freedom. Process and act.
- Stop drinking alcohol. Actually, stop doing unhealthy shit. You will never be able to get to the next level of your life with an unhealthy body and mind. If that means you do free yoga on the device you’re reading this on, then so be it. (May I recommend https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene) There is no shame in taking advantage of free resources to better yourself. Start meditating, smile at everybody you see. These small things add up in TREMENDOUS ways. You will start to meet the kindest people who’s values align with your own. Always exercise caution, though, take what works for you and discard the rest.
- There is so much information out there about “finding your passion.” What that actually equates to is sticking with what you love. I am not saying it will be incredibly obvious at first, but keep working towards something that you think you might like and eventually you’ll get there. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, just fucking do it.
- Read more books. I don’t know why people have such an aversion to, like, actual paperback books now, but give it a fucking shot. There are millions of people who have come before us. They have so much knowledge to provide that every person should be taking advantage of it. There are systems these people have developed that are more efficient and more lucrative. They went through the hard shit so you don’t have to. Start with this: https://tribeofmentors.com. Also, a super helpful resource is the public fucking library. I know, I know – what a concept. There are so many free resources available to you with a library card. Did you know that you have free access to lynda.com using your library card information from most public libraries? Dude, the card is free and the learning opportunities are endless. Take advantage.
- If you’re in school TRY YOUR FUCKING BEST. If you try your hardest and take it seriously the first time, there is no need to live in regret in the future. You can move forward unencumbered. We live in a world that equates our GPA with our potential. Until that changes, do your fucking homework and go to fucking class. Trust me.
- Lastly, DREAM BIGGER. You can do anything you want with your life. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU PLAYING SMALL? I know stepping out of your comfort zone is scary, but you know what’s scarier? Regret. I am terrified of not being able to do all of the things that I want to do before I depart this beautiful planet. Have you considered staying abroad during undergrad? Getting your PhD in a different country? Applying for a job that you’re maybe a little under-qualified for? Asking out that incredibly good looking human you keep eyeing? Quitting your corporate job to become a yoga teacher? Starting a side hustle nobody but you believes in? Dude. It doesn’t matter what it is, just be more. Be better than who you were yesterday. Fuck last year, just be better than yesterday.
If there is one thing I hope you take away from my tirade, it is this: When you keep making the same decisions, you keep getting the same outcomes.